How To Survive A Breakup

When you first started your relationship, you thought it would never end. Then, maybe suddenly, maybe gradually, things started to change and you found yourself without a partner. Here are some ways to help you get over a breakup.

1. Don't try to get revenge

Revenge may sound like a good idea but it never is. All it does is drag you further down. So forget the idea of plotting revenge on your ex. Get on with your life and let them get on with theirs.

2. Beware of the breakup rebound

It's easy when you've just broken up to fall for the first person who's nice to you again. But don't fall into this potential trap. Give the new person in your life time and give yourself time as well. Don't just fall headlong into the first available relationship "just because it's there".

3. Have a good cry to yourself

Crying helps us to get over our emotions. Men as well as women. So don't be afraid to cry - it's often a useful release for our feelings.

4. Talk it over with friends

Don't bore everyone for months after the breakup, but don't be afraid to talk over the breakup with one or more of your friends. Talking things over can be a very good way to diffuse the problems you were encountering. Just be prepared for a few frank comments back from your friends - chances are they saw the breakup coming before you did.

5. Remember the good times

Not everything about the relationship was bad - you wouldn't have entered into it if this was likely. So don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Keep hold of the happy times whilst letting go of the less happy times. But don't use this as an excuse to wallow in the past. You need to move on, so cherish the memories but don't try to permanently re-live them.

6. Move on

They say a change is as good as a break. Welcome the breakup as an opportunity to re-examine your life. Think about the things you do - are you doing any of them "because" your ex wanted you to, rather than because you want to. Use the breakup as an opportunity to change your life for the better.

7. Keep yourself occupied

There's nothing worse than sitting around, moping forever. Immerse yourself in a hobby for a while. If you haven't got a hobby, make the effort to find one. If your hobby is one where you could get the chance to meet other people, take that opportunity. Join a local club or at the very least sign up to an internet forum to talk about your hobby and share your experiences.

8. Re-find your friends

If your relationship was a close one, chances are that a lot of your old friends were neglected. Take time to reacquaint yourself with some of your old friends and relish their company again.

9. Stay off the booze

Although it's tempting to drown your sorrows, alcohol is a depressant. Don't start drinking heavilin an attempt to get over your breakup.

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